This is a rush transcript of “The Five” on October 7, 2021. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
NEIL CAVUTO, FOX NEWS HOST: That is what has defined Fox News. Good night.
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS HOST: Look, in two weeks, maybe I’m dying.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS HOST: Okay, I’m Greg Gutfeld with Judge Jeanine, who you just heard — Harold Ford, Jr., Jesse Watters, and 25 years ago she was just a Christmas elf at the county mall, Dana Perino. THE FIVE.
Today is a special day for all of us. It’s Thursday, when Jesse finally does his laundry.
JESSE WATTERS, FOX NEWS HOST: What?
GUTFELD: Yes, you smell. But it’s also Fox News’ 25th anniversary. It’s a milestone, but it’s probably a bigger achievement than anyone in this industry would care to admit. Because it includes destroying the legacy media. So why in hell would they celebrate the thing that killed them? I don’t blame them.
While we celebrate our 25th, what can CNN celebrate? Another month without a Jeffrey Toobin zoom call? Congrats. When Fox News debuted, it was roundly mocked, but within months, the mockery stopped, the critics saw Fox rise to the top and beat the pants off them, which was easy with Toobin.
So, how did this happen? First, it was necessary, it had to happen. The mainstream news not only refused to serve most Americans. They felt they didn’t have to. They control the narrative and you had little choice but to take it. They abused your trust. They lied to you. They thought you were stupid. They shared the same brain.
So the industry devolved into a corrupt insular machine out to stoke the vision to make money. Then Fox came along. We were different. We knew this monolithic media was derelict in its duty, so Fox provided the balance that was missing. It did so fearlessly, knowing that it would paint targets on all of our backs.
But its popularity grew and why? Because we’re people. We weren’t perfect. We were human. You could relate to us. It wasn’t a network, it was a relationship. You can get mad at us and turn us off, but you also knew we had your best interests at heart.
So you stuck with us through all the great stuff and the not so great stuff. Fox didn’t speak down to you like the pompous gas bags at other networks. We spoke directly to you. We assumed you were as smart as us, if not, smarter.
We didn’t see family or religion as a joke. We celebrated the American idea. We relished providing a voice for the unheard. As employees at Fox, we thanked Fox for keeping us employed. Here is my first appearance on Fox “The O’Reilly Factor.” I was quite a handsome guy, I have to say.
And there is Jesse. I had great sideburns, Jesse, those eyebrows. And then there was Dana. Look at her.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS HOST: Oh, yes.
GUTFELD: Yes, there you go.
PERINO: This has been the most painful.
GUTFELD: I think you had — you aged better than all of us.
GUTFELD: But the real thanks goes to you, the viewers, who trust us and let us into your homes. And thanks to everyone who came before us who made this happen against seemingly insurmountable odds. To another 25.
GUTFELD: Why, thank you.
PIRRO: Well said.
GUTFELD: Why, thank you.
HAROLD FORD, JR., FOX NEWS HOST: Well done, brother.
GUTFELD: Well, thank you. You guys can keep this complimenting me, I’ll do that. So, any theory, Dana, as to why Fox News has been able to overtime, build and build and build as the other media becomes more and more kind of elite and insular?
PERINO: Well, I think you — nailed it, right? The media for so long, basically had a point of view. And the mainstream media has kept the point of view for the most part. If not, even becoming slightly more even tilted towards the left, like that so much in the center, even center left, but more progressive.
And then all of a sudden, there was an alternative. And you give people choices in a capitalistic system then there’s a market for the product then it’s going to do well.
But I thought it was really interesting today is that there are 136 employees that work here still today that started on the first day.
PERINO: And this morning there was a scroll all across, as you can see it there. They listed all of the people. And I thought that was pretty amazing. For a network that were supposed to fail —
PERINO: — and Rupert Murdoch, in one of the interviews he did with Neil Cavuto not too long ago, he said that everyone thought he was crazy when he was starting it.
PERINO: And so hopefully, he’s feeling pretty good today about the success.
GUTFELD: Yes. I remember when it started and wanting to work for it when I was at “Men’s Health” magazine. Jesse, I made the point of comparing and contrasting. The fact that there is no interesting people on other networks. I mean, you are considered interesting for the wrong reasons.
But do you know, I mean, there is something about the fact that if you turn on Fox, you know the people there because — and you actually — when people see you on the street, they believe that they know you.
WATTERS: Yes. Well, we have true believers here at Fox News. We don’t get on the air because we want to look pretty and be liked by certain people and succeed in the broadcast industry. We come on here because we care about the country and we care about the people of the country.
And I like to think that I speak for the people of the country and give the people of the country a voice that they didn’t have before. So when you see an audience member approach you, they treat us like family. And that connection is so strong, none other broadcast professionals have the connection that we have with the audience.
And I can state that as a fact because we care so passionately about what we do. Greg, we were talking in the green room about a fake news article that we saw that — fake outrage! A performance art. No! We actually care about what’s going on in the country.
And maybe we are outraged at something we see because that just doesn’t sit well with us because we know it doesn’t sit well with the rest of the country. But we are also laughing and joking and it doesn’t always have to be about outrage. We’re not doing this for money or ratings. We actually believe what we’re saying and that’s a lot different than the other people that you see on television.
GUTFELD: But the ratings are great, the money is good.
WATTERS: That’s because we’re authentic.
FORD: And you do look good. You do look good.
WATTERS: We have a team of people in here.
PIRRO: And they make us look good.
GUTFELD: Judge, when did you first come to Fox?
PIRRO: I think it was in 2008. I was — I had been the D.A. and I ran for attorney general and I didn’t win in New York. Oh, that’s me. Yes, that’s me as a D.A. Wow, war on terror. There I was as a D.A.
WATTERS: Hubba hubba.
PIRRO: And — oh, I don’t know. We all look quite different. But at the same time, I mean, what Jesse was saying and what you’ve said were — we’ve all said is this; look, we resonated with America. And were it not for Fox, there would be such a monolithic train of thought where all the networks said the same thing, all cables said the same thing.
I mean, it would be fascism at this point. And the truth is, thank goodness for Fox that we are allowed to say what we want. We are who we are. We have distinctive personalities. And I agree with you. When I go around the country, oh, I love you, Judge Jeanine, and I’m like, do they — they don’t know me, but they do.
PIRRO: And they get that we’re honest. That we’re believers. We’re believing what we’re saying. And you got to give credit. This is a David versus Goliath. This is a story where you got Rupert Murdoch who had the vision, the business sense. He didn’t run with the pack. He didn’t need permission. He didn’t need approval in 79 months of quarters that we won. We’re number one, that’s it! I mean, that’s the American way.
GUTFELD: There you go. Harold, you’re new to this company, but you’ve been around here. What do you make — what is the power of Fox News coming from like outside and coming in?
FORD: So I actually started here in 2007. I lost the race for the Senate back in Tennessee and started in ’07 and was here for about a year. However, when the networks started, I just got elected to Congress. And your viewpoints are right. We live in a big diverse sprawling democracy, sometimes a brawling democracy.
And I think the cornerstone of our strength as a nation is that we have to be willing to not only listen to but accept dissent political point of views, different political point of views. And a new member of Congress, I came on this network often. I came on in with Bill O’Reilly. I came on with Hannity. I came on with others around the network.
And I often wanted to be able to reach constituents of mine that might have watched the other networks. Look, I listen to Fox and now that I’m on Fox, I clearly listen to it even when I’m not on. And some members of my party don’t like what happened here. I don’t always agree with the things that we talk about, but sometimes I do.
But you have to listen to understand when you do. And you also have to listen I think as you think about crafting arguments, strengthening your own arguments, but even more so agreeing when someone is right. And I think we could all benefit from that. And when I think of Fox, that’s what I think of.
When I congratulate Mr. Murdoch and Lachlan and the entire organization on 25 years of enormous success, they figured out their marketplace and hopefully there’s another 25 to 50 years of success as well.
GUTFELD: Yes. I’ll be 60 then. Still look great though.
GUTFELD: Yes, it is amazing with the — well, I was going to make a disgusting joke, but instead, why ruin this moment and just move on. We are going to continue celebrating our 25-year anniversary. All the show’s music today will be songs from 1996, including “The Melvin’s” which is next. Up next, President Biden praising his vaccine mandates.
WATTERS: That’s Atlantis (ph).
GUTFELD: Atlantis Morissette.
PIRRO: Atlantis, right.
WATTERS: President Biden’s scolding the unvaccinated and praising his controversial mandates.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JOE BIDEN, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: The unvaccinated overcut our hospitals, overrunning emergency rooms and intensive care units. The unvaccinated also put our economy at risk because people are reluctant to go out.
Some are making a political statement out of this issue. But a strong bipartisan majority of Americans support vaccinations. They know it isn’t about politics. It’s about life and death. That’s what it’s about. It’s about looking out for one another. It’s about being patriotic. Doing the right thing. Folks, vaccination requirements work.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: Meanwhile, where are the moral lectures from the liberal media on this? After promising to crush the virus, there have been more COVID deaths under President Biden so far this year than in all of 2020. Then candidate Biden was more than happy to bash Trump over this issue.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BIDEN: This man simply doesn’t understand. He can’t deal with our economic crisis without serving and saving and solving the public health crisis. You know, he’s quit on you and he’s quit on this country.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WATTERS: So Dana, Biden’s underwater on every issue, even COVID-19. So you think that’s why he’s trying to regain his footing going out and giving a big speech on mandates?
PERINO: Probably. I think because if you look at all of those numbers since I will, look, is there any place where we could, you know, still say that we have some foothold, it might be the virus. Remember, he ran on “I will crush the virus.” And then they had that premature celebration on the Fourth of July.
And unfortunately, there was the delta variant and so a little more caution was warranted, but they were feeling it. They were excited about it. Then in the middle of the Afghanistan debacle is when they came out with the vaccine mandates for businesses with 100 employees or more. And there were lots of follow-up questions that people had, but he wouldn’t take any questions.
SO then people continued to like wonder how did this happen. Now, just a year ago, a year and a month — so 13 months ago, both President Biden and Kamala Harris as candidates said “if the vaccine is produced and approved under President Trump, I would not trust it. I would not take it.”
Of course, they were being ridiculous them. They were lying. They did trust the vaccine. They just wanted to hurt President Trump. So then they get into office and then they think, well, now, we really need people to take the vaccine and please just wipe away your memory of anything that we said before. The other thing that’s interesting is, did you guys notice? Remember with the daily death tracker?
GUTFELD: Yes. This is my talking point!
PERINO: Oh, I didn’t see it, but I had the same thought.
GUTFELD: You (inaudible). GO ahead.
PERINO: That the media had, you know, the daily death —
PERINO: — death tracking number, and then all of a sudden, that went away. And that still hasn’t helped President Biden.
WATTERS: No. So, we are at over 700,000 Americans dead from COVID-19, Greg, but good news. The delta virus or the summer surge is starting to go down.
GUTFELD: Yes, it is good news. I think that the argument that Biden is giving about vaccine mandates is very similar to the draft. When you hear what he’s saying it’s like it’s the patriotic thing to do. I wonder how many of these pro-vax people would be pro-draft because a draft is taking control of your body and so are vax mandates. So I just find it — it’s kind of very consistent.
Not a perfect analogy, but I think that Trump is going to have a very — I would say Trump is going to have a really easy way to compare his run from 2016 to 2020 to Biden’s when you compare these variables whether it’s inflation or crime numbers, COVID deaths, weaponizing of the FBI. At this rate, I don’t see Biden running in 2024. I see him being Trump’s campaign manager because he is providing him with so much stuff.
But to your point, the media refuses to apply the same standards to Biden that they did to Trump. And for that reason, what they do is if you come to them with this information, they just turn it on to January 6th. Oh, it’s – – we got to talk about January 6th. And also ridiculing the vax hesitant for reasons that he may not be aware of is a weird tool for a unifier.
WATTERS: And he said there will not be any vax mandates, remember, just a few months ago, Judge Pirro. And now he’s mandate man.
PIRRO: Yes. There was not going to be a mandate for a max — a mask or there wasn’t going to be a mandate for a vaccine. And they are the ones who discredited the vaccines right from the get-go. It was a political decision on their part. And they discredit it over and over again when they run around without their mask.
And Rashida Tlaib now saying, you know, the only reason I’m wearing a mask now is because I’ve got a Republican tracking me over here. And, you know, Gavin Newsom and everyone else just totally going against the message that Biden is trying to give. But you see, it’s not even Biden’s message. He’s lost all credibility.
America doesn’t believe in him anymore and his numbers are so in the tank right now. I mean, how could you possibly follow him and say, okay, he’s absolutely right. I mean, it’s a decision — yes, I believe in vaccinations. I am vaccinated. But some people have reasons for not being vaccinated and not one size fits all.
WATTERS: As judge says, he is now not trusted. People believe he is incompetent. If he does oversee the, you know, elimination of this virus, is he going to even get any credit for it considering the vaccines were Trump’s?
FORD: Look, Operation Warp Speed worked and I think we should all give credit where credit is due and at the same time give credit to President Biden for helping to make the distribution model — make the distribution wider and have drugs more accessible.
I listen to the people in the freedom argument about this and you and I are vaccinated. And I’ve asked this question privately, but I wonder, the people whom are defending those who are exercising their freedom for not getting the vaccine, were those people also defending Colin Kaepernick when he knelt when the “Star-Spangled Banner” was sung?
I didn’t necessarily. I thought it was the wrong thing, but if we’re going to be consistent about freedom, we should all think about these arguments. Two, 97 percent of people at United Airlines are now vaccinated. Do you know why? Because Scott Kirby, the CEO, was the first, if not, one of the first CEO to say you have to be vaccinated to come to work. So 97 percent are vaccinated.
Three, if you really believe this — that this disease or virus or whatever came from China and was man-made, you know how you can get the Chinese back? Stay alive. Get vaccinated. Let — take the politics out of it, minus the politics out of it. Democrats were wrong perhaps in a big way and I think Vice President Harris if — had her best — said it completely wrong, which she said I wouldn’t take the vaccine. You can assign the worst motive and say that she meant it because it was Donald Trump.
She was wrong. That doesn’t mean that any red-blooded American who believes in the country, who wants the economy to reopen, who wants schools to reopen, who wants to get back at China, let’s get vaccinated.
WATTERS: Well, I can say there is a few other ways to get back at China, but we don’t have time for all of that. Ahead, a majority of Americans say Biden’s incompetent and now he’s got another problem that’s going to make it a lot worse.
PIRRO: President Biden has got big problems. A majority of Americans think his administration is incompetent and things are about to get much worse. Inflation is surging like wildfire all across the country. The massive rise in prices is costing American households an extra $175 a month. And gas prices are the highest in seven years. The White House forced to spin the bad news on rising prices at the pump.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
JEN PSAKI, WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY: And as you said, some ticks-up in parts of the country. That’s something we’ve been working to focus on. Certainly, we all want to keep gasoline prices low, but the threat of the crisis, the climate crisis certainly can’t wait any longer.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PIRRO: Okay. I will start with you, Harold. All right. The gas prices are the highest that they’ve been in seven years. And the average family now paying more than $175 a month for the cost of inflation is going to get worse in 2022. Why do the Democrats want to spend more money? Won’t that create a bigger problem?
FORD: So I have a different view on this. I think that the economy prior to COVID was facing some of these strains. I think our economy has been organized in the last 30 years around efficiency. So you have investors who want to make sure you don’t make more than what you need in any sphere of life including in energy.
Then we have COVID and everything explodes. We try our hardest to figure out how we answer things. We spend money. The fed spends money. So I think we have an organ of government, the Fed that can try to address some of this. I actually think we should be figuring out ways to spend more money in the — on the right things —
FORD: — including how do we improve supply chains. I think supply chains across the world, those constraints, those restraints are causing prices to go up all across the board. And there is an argument to be made that we may be spending more than we should on certain things.
But I think if we want, five to 10 years from now not to face these kinds of pressures, energy pressures, durable good pressures, semiconductor chip pressures, we have to figure out how do we invest in ways to help America build more of these and make us less reliant on those overseas who we depend on to produce them for us.
PIRRO: Well, you know, Jesse, Target and Home Depot are now chartering their own ships so that they can deliver billions of dollars of products to get in time — get here in time for Christmas. I mean, is it just supply chain or what else is going on?
WATTERS: Well, if we hadn’t offshored every single factory in this country to Asia, we wouldn’t have a huge supply chain issue. Also exacerbating that, there is a trucker shortage. So even if you get the ship containers onshore, there’s no one there to drive them to any of these stores.
So that’s not all Biden’s fault, but part of it also. If you are going to spend, what is it going to be if these two bills go through, about $12 trillion in one single fiscal year? That’s just going to make U.S. dollar into like whatever the Zimbabwe currency is. We don’t want that.
FORD: What is the Zimbabwe currency?
WATTERS: I don’t know, but it’s probably like 1 trillionth of a dollar. So not all of it is Biden’s fault, but he’s making it worse. And the biggest mistake that Joe Biden made was in the spring to dismiss inflation.
WATTERS: He said, oh, this is just transitory. It’s going to go away. He is supposed to be Amtrak Joe, Mr. Scranton. He’s supposed to have his ear to the street with the middle class. And to dismiss it like that, and then to make a mockery of the hotdog prices on July 4, makes him look totally at a touch while the average middle-class family only making $67,000 a year is now paying an extra $175 in cost of living because of this inflation.
JEANINE PIRRO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: All right, so Dana, they’re talking about — Granholm, the Energy Secretary, is talking about tapping the energy — the reserve — the oil reserve.
DANA PERINO, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: You know what? Every administration tries it. It doesn’t work.
PIRRO: That’s what I’m —
PERINO: And it’s there for emergencies. And so they should really just set that aside. What the press secretary said today, we want to keep gas prices low, but the threat of climate change crisis, it can’t wait any longer. There will be tens of millions, if not hundreds of millions of dollars in ads that are used — that use that exact quote in the next year to deal with — going into the midterms.
The other thing is the indelible images of Afghanistan and what happened in that debacle as we left Americans behind and the people who helped us behind and just the chaos and the way that it was handled, all of those images have had a lasting impression, and it’s seeping into all the other numbers.
Some of the — if you just peek under the hood of some of these poll numbers is on this military, his numbers handling terrible as commander in chief, his competency. And now you have the other polling in Gallup saying that people think — the Republicans would be better on national security.
PERINO: And it’s only October.
PIRRO: Yes, national security, Greg, as well as the economy.
GREG GUTFELD, FOX NEWS CHANNEL HOST: 100 trillion Zimbabwe dollars will fetch only 40 cents.
WATTERS: No way.
GUTFELD: Is that incredible?
WATTERS: No way.
GUTFELD: But a central bank introduced the $50 note as the main currency in 2019. And then you had hyperinflation soared 800 percent. So, there you go.
WATTERS: I mean, he is killing the dollar.
GUTFELD: He is killing it. He’s destroying —
WATTERS: He’s killing the dollar.
GUTFELD: You know, he’s destroying Zimbabwe is what he’s doing. It goes — to your — to your point, it goes back to kind of selfish reasons so many people voted for Biden. They didn’t care that a President Trump improved in these concrete variables, you know, the low inflation, foreign policy in the — in the vaccines. But because late-night Trump gave you early morning anxiety through tweets, he had to go. So, what we’re now — we’re bearing the consequences of an emotional decision made by a lot of people because again, you can’t — if you look at the variables of COVID, the economy, foreign policy, Trump —
PERINO: The border —
GUTFELD: The border. Trump blows Biden away, which is why when you look at the media, it’s going to be from here on end January 6, January 6. Because you can’t — Scott Adams pointed this out.
GUTFELD: They can’t — you know what’s great? They can’t compare the four years of Trump to the four years of Biden. They’re using something that happened after, one day, because all of the other variables cannot be compared.
PERINO: And did you see where they have the Facebook whistleblower testify in that?
GUTFELD: Yes. How — total —
PIRRO: All right, ahead, liberal police policies unleashing mayhem on innocent Americans. This is part of it too.
WATTERS: You know what?
HAROLD FORD JR. FOX NEWS CHANNEL CONTRIBUTOR: Spirited conversation. Bail reform once again sparking a debate on whether those policies are hurting ordinary citizens. The woman seen shoving a person into an oncoming subway train in New York City was probably out on bail stemming from assault charges in July. The suspect is now charged with attentive murder.
Now, Jesse, I’ll start with you. The idea of bail reform last year, two years ago in New York was to help nonviolent offenders who were first-time offenders if they did not have the money to make bail to have an opportunity to not serve more in jail than they would if they got convicted of a crime. This is absurd but we are dealing with here.
Is there a distinction that should be made between the nonviolent first- time offenders and violent offenders?
WATTERS: Why didn’t they write it like that, Harold? They wrote it like an idiot would write it.
FORD JR: Oh, no, I didn’t write it. I’m askin you.
WATTERS: No, your party wrote it like a bunch of idiots. So, now, you can commit violent crimes, be a repeat offender, and get bailed out. It was designed so that very poor people, if they committed a nonviolent offense weren’t saddled with debt, and could come out of jail and fight the charge. But it’s not like that.
Now, it’s just a revolving door for criminals. And it might have been well- intentioned, but it backfired. The same way people are coming around, the Democrats, to fund the police was stupid. They are coming around the bail reform as stupid.
This is what we need to do in this country. We need to look at policy results instead of policy intentions. If you are intentional and you want to make everyone be perfect, OK, give it all year. If it blows up and causes crime in a year, switch it back. Why do we have to dig in ideologically on dumb laws that create more crime just so we could pat ourselves on the back by the left? Just switch the bill. Fix it. You are already getting people hurt.
FORD JR: This is one of the examples, I mean, of listening when you hear on Fox. I don’t agree that all Democrats are idiots, but I do agree that we should switch the policy. Judge, you know this.
PIRRO: No, they didn’t —
FORD JR: So, think about this. Is it nonviolent or violent? Should — I think we got two votes. Should we distinguish between nonviolent and violent criminal first-time offenders?
PIRRO: Well, it’s not just between violent and nonviolent. You know, there are some nonviolent crimes that are, in essence, violent. So, if I had an economic crime that involves a 90-year-old woman who ends up losing her home, to her, then it’s as violent as you can get. When you get someone involved in identity theft or some kind of fraud, that could be as violent as any other crime.
But let me tell you something. They did not write it like a bunch of idiots. They wrote it like they it. They want chaos, anarchy. And it will never be changed in New York.
PIRRO: Because do not have a legislature that will agree to impose bail, which is a constitutional consideration, the eighth amendment, all right. It’s not like it was never considered part of the structure. And you know what’s crazy about this woman who slammed the other woman into a passing train who got her jaw broken and her nose broken? She was arrested seven times before.
Not one time did they do an evaluation as to whether or not she was a threat to herself or others — herself or others. These — a lot of these people are mental. We’re bringing them out and making assault victims. I mean, I’m — I could riff for an hour, but I’m not going to. That’s it. It’s disgusting.
FORD JR: You’ve talked about the mental health issues on our streets. How did that play into this?
GUTFELD: This is on — this is on the hands of the wife of Bill de Blasio, runs an $800 million initiative to help the mentally ill. And what we are seeing instead is no results and there’s no accountability because she is married to the mayor. Is he going to launch an investigation? No one’s doing that.
This actually is another thing — we were talking about how feminists basically abandoned Sinema. This is a war on women because many of these women are the victims. This woman who was mentally ill, almost all of her victims were women, right?
GUTFELD: And you hear about the elderly Asian women being beaten up on the streets. So, this violent crime has somehow — think about the activists. Think about the female activists that you saw on TV during the BLM stuff and all these stuff, and they are always anti-cop this, anti-cop that. Who’s going to protect the women on the street? Not those female activists.
So they throw their gender under the bus to kind of preserve their muted ideology, right? It’s too important for them. The idea of being anti-police or anti-gun is too important for them. So, if a thug assaults a woman and another woman, the well-protected female activist will always side with the thug, a true misogynist from head to toe.
FORD JR: Dana, criminal justice reform has been — I mean, Democrats and Republicans alike like it. How do you — how do you reconcile that with — because I agree with just about everything —
PERINO: I would imagine that people — like, for example, with a bipartisan criminal justice reform that happened under President Trump, I would imagine all of those people could all agree that this is bad, that liberal prosecutors are bad, the bail reform — that that’s not the way to go. Because what’s going to happen is that all the other things they want to deal with criminal justice reform, just like with immigration reform, all of it gets harder as these things get pushed and not dealt with.
GUTFELD: Just to piggyback on that. If you are a liberal activist, female, you do not care about the domestic violence because they release a guy in Virginia who beat the crap out of his wife or girlfriend, and then when they let him out, he came back and murdered her.
PIRRO: Murder her.
GUTFELD: A liberal DA allows that to happen.
PIRRO: We’re back to the ’70s, back where we started.
FORD JR: Look, I think we’re right. I don’t think liberals have a monopoly on stupidity. But ahead, more 25th anniversary funds. A special “FAN MAIL” is coming your way next.
PERINO: Welcome back. I hope you have been enjoying the throwback songs even though most of my colleagues have not particularly like the choices we had.
GUTFELD: Except for the Melvins.
PERINO: We would like to have had Boot Scootin Boogie by Brooks and Dunn. However, 1996 was the year of our launch. We’re celebrating 25 years of the Fox News Channel with a special “FAN MAIL” edition #25. Ready? Here’s this one from Facebook, Scott T. What was your first day like at Fox, Judge?
PIRRO: My first day at Fox — I was on Fox all the time when I was the DA. I was talking about crime stories and I was talking about the O.J. Simpson case. So, the first day that I was actually hired was kind of like, you know, on with the family again. It’s just, you know —
PERINO: All right, what about you? Did you know where the bathroom was?
GUTFELD: No, but I was absolutely shocked about how quickly they put me to work. So, I’ve done like contributors and stuff. But my first day at Fox, I had a meeting with John Moody about this idea for a show which was called Wasteland which then became Red Eye. And he said — and I go — so, I figured it’d be like a three-month thing and he goes, yes, so you’re going to start rehearsing this week and the first show is Monday.
And I go, I’ve never done this before. I went back to the hotel and just cleared the minibar and I called my friends. I go, I don’t even know what I’m doing here. What am I doing? And they — and they did the rehearsals or the mock shows inside a like a little room, like a green room, and we were all allowed to smoke in there. So, everybody’s smoking and there it was. It was — it was insane.
PERINO: That was 25 years ago. Not quite 25.
GUTFELD: That was 2007.
PERINO: You, Jesse?
WATTERS: I remember my first day. I remember my first lunch and it was at Wendy’s which used to be right here in the basement.
PERINO: Oh, yes.
WATTERS: It used to be Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich with cheese almost every single day.
PERINO: Yes. Harold, did you remember your first day?
FORD JR: I remember my first day on a network and 97 and it was — I remember the show. It was a Raleigh show and I was little nervous because I thought they’re going to come after me with conservative stuff. But we had a great conversation about race in America.
PERINO: And we are still talking about it and we are glad you are here. All right, this question is from Instagram. If you could change assignments with someone at Fox, who would you like to be? Jesse?
WATTERS: I’m going to go with Abby Hornacek.
PIRRO: So do I.
WATTERS: She just got to go with beautiful locations all day. It’s not fair.
PERINO: Yes. How did she get that assignment?
WATTERS: How did she get that gig?
PERINO: I know. That’s true. How about you?
WATTERS: What a junket.
PIRRO: Because she’s Abby Hornacek.
WATTERS: What a junket.
GUTFELD: I’m trying to think of who does the least amount of work. But if I say that, then that person is going to be mad at me. I’m going to go with the dude in the flip-flops in Florida.
WATTERS: Wait, Phil Keating.
GUTFELD: Phil Keating. I’m going to go with Phil Keating.
PIRRO: Phil Keating?
GUTFELD: Yes, he’s always happy.
PERINO: He works hard but he kind of makes it look like —
GUTFELD: He’s very casual. He stays casual. He’s got the — I’m not saying he doesn’t work — I said I would have picked someone, but instead —
PERINO: I used to watch Phil Keating. He was on local news in Denver. And he was like — I was like, who’s this crazy guy going to snow —
PIRRO: No, he’s so cool.
GUTFELD: But I’m not saying he’s not working — I was saying, I would have picked somebody. I picked him instead.
PIRRO: He’s so cool.
PERINO: OK, so Abby Hornacek. Anyone?
FORD JR: Oh, look, I like this show but Bret is my guy. So, I like D.C. and I like politics. So, I like this show.
PERINO: All right, a “SPECIAL REPORT” kind of guy. One quick last one. Who makes you laugh the most off-camera? Judge? Greg? Jesse?
FORD JR: Gutfeld.
WATTERS: I mean, Gutfeld, definitely Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: God, I’m trying to think. That’s — I can’t answer that because I’ll piss up — Tyrus, I guess.
PERINO: Tyrus is pretty funny.
PIRRO: Tyrus is good.
GUTFELD: But then, Kat, but then Jesse.
WATTERS: Thank you.
GUTFELD: Jesse, it’s a tie. Jesse, Kat, Tyrus. Kat is going to yelling at me right now.
PERINO: Bill Hemmer makes me laugh.
PIRRO: Oh, Bill Hemmer, yes.
PERINO: Bill Hemmer makes me laugh the whole time.
GUTFELD: But unintentionally.
PERINO: He’s just naturally funny.
GUTFELD: But when he walks up to you, he goes, hey, what’s going on?
PERINO: Hey, kid, how are you doing? Hey, kid, how are you doing? He loves this anniversary. He is big time.
PIRRO: Yes. he was like happy birthday today.
PERINO: He loves anniversary so much. #25. “ONE MORE THING” is up next.
GUTFELD: “ONE MORE THING.” Dana.
PERINO: All right, it’s time for some corny jokes.
GUTFELD: Oh boy.
PERINO: Here we go. Here we go. Oh, hi Jasper. All right, here we go. Harold, you’ve never done this, OK.
FORD JR: Yes.
PERINO: This is in honor of our 25 year anniversary. Number one, how do you always remember an anniversary? How do you always remember an anniversary?
WATTERS: The date? Something with the date?
PERINO: You forget it once.
PIRRO: Oh, that’s good.
PERINO: And then you will not because your wife will get so mad.
GUTFELD: That’s not corny.
PERINO: That’s corny. It’s funny.
WATTERS: It’s hard.
PERINO: Why did it — OK, it’s a riddle. Why did the couple that met online get married?
PIRRO: Met online.
GUTFELD: They got — she got knocked up.
PERINO: They just clicked. How does a tea back wish it’s best friend Happy birthday.
WATTERS: Just drop in.
PIRRO: She didn’t want to be sunk.
PERINO: Happy Birthday best-tea.
PERINO: Last one is what does every birthday end with?
PERINO: The letter Y?
WATTERS: It’s too hard.
PERINO: Too hard?
WATTERS: Too hard? I feel so stupid right now.
GUTFELD: And you don’t need riddles for that, Jesse.
WATTERS: That hurts.
GUTFELD: You’re up.
WATTERS: All right, so there’s a celebration of a birthday today not just for Fox but also the twins. Sophie and Ellie turned 10 today. That’s right, double digits. They’re blowing out some candles with my mom and my dad there celebrating with some silly string with some of their friends.
I got slaughtered. It was four on one was silly string there. We have another cake down in LBI. So, happy birthday! I love you guys so much, Sophie and Ellie.
PERINO: Happy birthday!
PIRRO: Is it my turn?
GUTFELD: Yes, Judge, it is.
PIRRO: I am so excited because today premiering on all of Uncle Giuseppe stores — sorry Jesse, Uncle Giuseppe, OK, stores all over New York and New Jersey. They are premiering The Jeanine.
PIRRO: The Jeanine is a — is a green apple dipped in dark chocolate, covered with peppermint patties. It is the greatest — it’s the hardest green apple with the best dark chocolate and peppermint patty.
GUTFELD: It looked like a hand grenade.
PIRRO: There is — no —
GUTFELD: You know what it is? It’s a model for the COVID virus.
PIRRO: This is the best. And I have one for every one of you.
GUTFELD: It’s a COVID virus
PIRRO: Uncle Giuseppe, I have to tell you, I love this store. But they’re premiering this today. It’s available, the Jeanine all over, Massapequa, Melville, Port Washington, Smithtown, North Babylon, Ramsey, Moorestown — did I say that — East Meadow, Yorketown, a lot of places.
GUTFELD: That’s great, Judge.
PIRRO: It’s wonderful. You’re going to love it.
GUTFELD: Like you, it’s sweet and sour.
PIRRO: And by the way, I designed it.
GUTFELD: Well done.
PIRRO: No, it’s my recipe.
GUTFELD: Oh it is? You make these?
PIRRO: No, but I told them how to make it. That’s enough. Thank you. I’m very excited.
GUTFELD: Harold, do you have any —
FORD JR: Mine is quick. The Dodgers won on a walk-off home run last night. Chris Taylor, utility, a man for the team, didn’t start the game, came up at a walk-off home run. To lesson the kids who play sports. Always stay engaged, always stay involved. You never know when your chance may come. This kid just let the Dodgers go and play the Giants. Go Dodgers!
GUTFELD: There you go. All right, let’s do this. Greg’s real estate news. Wow, you saw me mouth it. You know, it’s always great when people buy their first home including this lovely couple. Well, actually, it’s just the one who picked up their new dream home. It’s —
PERINO: Awesome. Nice.
GUTFELD: Yes. It couldn’t be more excited. The square footage, it’s probably around one foot. But you know, what do you need?
WATTERS: Like a Manhattan apartment.
GUTFELD: What do you need? What do you need? It’s got a backdoor in there and get in there. There’s little rainbow. You know, it’s just great being – – it’s great being tiny. There you go. It’s checking the —
PERINO: Oh, boy. He’s kind of like, I need to lose some weight.
WATTERS: He gets right in the back door.
GUTFELD: Yes, look at that.
PIRRO: He needs to lose weight.
GUTFELD: You know, don’t fat-shame the hamster, Judge.
PIRRO: Oh, I’m sorry.
GUTFELD: You’re fat-shaming — as you’re eating that —
PIRRO: I mean, I’m eating the peppermint patties.
GUTFELD: Yes. All right, we got to go. “SPECIAL REPORT” is up next with Mr. Bret Baier who’s going to be on Colbert, correct?
BRET BAIER, FOX NEWS CHANNEL ANCHOR: I was last night. I’m sure you had better ratings, Greg. I’m positive you did.
PIRRO: What did he say?
GUTFELD: I bet you did great.
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